Friday, 11 June 2010

TGO The End

cameron moves in for a peck
After a slightly earlier than intended start and after a light breakfast of an energy bar and a cuppa, I marched off towards the sea.
I’d told the family that my eta at Scurdie Ness would be about two o’clock. It soon became clear that I’d be there long before that, so I started to ring their phones. Nobody answered. I texted. Empty bucket.
I crossed Rossie Moor (a fine bit of heathland if ever there was one) and tried again with the phone. Silence.
montrose basin in sight
I came across some Angus road men mending holes in the road.
One of them smiled broadly, showing his tooth.
Infer eggwump narr treddly worvace kigglie nobs?” he exclaimed.
“Toon exter otter spoon TGO elsie tanner invertebrate” My knowledge of the local dialect is patchy, as you can see.
Ah!” says he, smacking down a spadeful of tarmac. “Esher twangle gollum Scordie Ness…..Park Hotel heh heh heh….”
I tried another text. Zilch. A lighthouse came into view.
The phone rang. I told the wife I’d be there at half eleven.
In the end, I arrived at Scurdie Ness at eleven and was greeted by a large black bull and some seagulls.
scurdie ness
I met elements of the family at Ferryden and the dog and the wife at Montrose, but the moment had passed.
Later, though, I got me kiss off Cameron McNeish, and me plaque and a bottle of fizzy. And a fine night of boozing followed well into the next day.
in the park not sure who the security blokes are
There was a fruitless search of Montrose for a kebab shop or, indeed, any kind of food, involving the Fight Club Hikers and meself, but in the end we just had to repair to the campsite to finish off Peter’s brandy supply. We seem to have been shadowed by a police van for a while…. There was inebriation and random acts of harmless violence quite similar to those at Stonethwaite. (see the daunder report)
And that was that. This is the end. I am now a Leg End, along with many other Leg Ends past and future.
I’ll probably have a year off next year before I embark on a campaign to do twenty TGO Challenges. The new TGO editor is, I have to say, quite a bit prettier than Cameron and the kiss will be more betterer.
Todays pics are mainly from Martin Banfield and Adrian Fortune. Thanks Martin and Adrian.
The end.

Kylie?………   Kylie….. hello…..?


AlanR said...

Well done Mike, another cracker! Love the Jockanese.

Gayle said...

Stunningly good account of events, if I may say so.

Kept me verily entertained (with many a 'what?' emanating from Mick's direction each time I snorted with laughter).

Phreerunner said...

Well done Mike - the blog really is a good way of self-publishing a novel, isn't it?

Word = 'incomand' (probably describing your state on a few nights of the Challenge?)

Meanqueen said...

Well done Mike, I've really enjoyed reading your reports. Might have a go meself next year.

Dave Wood said...

Mike Knipe..Leg End in his own lifetime!
Funny, but for some reason I don't remember the police van..I do recall the sky was a lovely shade of blue though.
Hope you reconsider taking a year off next's your round in the Park!

Steve Miller said...

The Pieman.....a real legend....well done Mike

Anonymous said...

I'm sad the TGO reports have come to an end for this year - you should be on the telly!

Mike Knipe said...

Ah well, thanks everybody. Its supposed to be fun y'know (apart from the Crematorium)
I dare say thee'll be more drivel coming up shortly about other stuff - in fact there's a plan hatching at this very moment....

Alan Sloman said...

Dear Mr Knipe,

We read your account and were amused. Please come to tea next time you are passing our holiday home on the Dee.


x (and Miss Minogue sends her regards)

Mike Knipe said...

Thanks Aunty Liz

If I'd known you were at the holiday cottage, I'd have changed my route.

Tell Kylie not to wash, I'm on my way...

Your loyal nephew


PS thanks for all your help keeping me out of the navy...