The Bell(s) The Bell(s)

Friday 5 February – Leaving superdawg distraught and yapping at the front door, I drove off North, laughing manically at the cruelty of it all (mwhahahaha) and duly arrive, a couple of hours later extremely close to the Scottish Border at the foot of the Colledge Valley where I parked the magic bus and went off to bag the delectable little HuMP called – The Bell. Even the locals seem not to have heard of The Bell – but it’s there, sticking up in a bell- like manner for about 400 feet and covered in gorse and hawthorn scrub.

I met a goat with a limp on the path at the bottom – and we had a brief stand-off till the goat headed uphill to eat some gorse. (Prickly stuff to be eating I would have thought, but there you are – there’s no accounting either for taste or for MPs expenses.)

And so, by the advanced navigational technique of walking uphill, I soon arrived at the summit – in this case a slab of very old and partially frozen cow muck – but a vetenary sample with a fine view of a misty and slighty drippy Colledge Valley. (It was raining a bit)

I returned to the car and drove the four or five miles or whatever it is, passing the “No vehicles without a permit” sign and the “No vehicles beyond this point “ sign and the “ Wassermarra wi you, like, bernnny lad? Can yer nert read the signs, like?** " sign – till I got to Mounthooley YHA Bunkhouse, which on detailed investigation held several members of the Over the Hill club and a small and venerable dog called Beadle.

The night was passed in carousing and several bottles of whisky, wine and beer received very serious damage to their contents.

Apparently, the dormitory was the scene of violent snoring overnight, although, I must admit that I heard nothing. But there were dark hints as to the culprit in the morning.

Bruno, apparently, slept on the sofa back in Durham.

There will be more of this particular rice pudding of a tale shortly.

Just let me get some more coffee…….

** This is what a Northumbrian accent sounds like… – the “R’s” should sound a bit French, if you can manage that.

The walk up The Bell was about 4 miles and 500 feet of climbing