Friday, 1 May 2009

TGO Challenge Perhaps Penultimate Preparations or maybe not eh?

Hands up who knew it was Beltane today. Its time to run around a big pole with flowers in your hair and a belly full of strong cider with a load of girls in floaty frocks and long hair.

So to celebrate this holiday, I did some not quite last minute TGO things. These involved a short drive to Bishop Auckland to buy sealable sandwhich bags for my instant tea and even more instant sugar, and, maybe a few rashers of Irish bacon and perhaps a tattie scone or two.

And then I bought two butane/propane cylinders and got another go at Blacks/Millets win a thousand quid by saying nice things about our stores competition. Actually, the two wee lassies in Millets in Bishop are very pleasant… and they certainly know their butane. They had no idea about Beltane, though and refused to discuss floaty frocks unless their rugby-playing boyfriends were there. (Prop forward and scrum half, apparently)

I got some liddle plastic boxes to replace my big plastic box wot I keep important things in such as my supply of Ministry of defence Biscuits (Brown), my dickie ticker tablets, my MOD tin opener, a lighter, cakes, a small settee with breathable cushions, an umbrella with the word “Stella” printed on it (3500 static head) and a pack of tissues for er… personal stuff…. (very low static head) This saves just 300 grammes of weight. That’s another 300 grammes of Irish bacon, then.

At Asda, I got some shorts (swimming shorts, apparently) – but they’re very light weight and have integral netting inside to keep things inside, presumably. Wouldn’t want anything poking out innit? Anyway, if I take the shorts on the TGO it will guarantee snow.

And six breakfasts in the guise of twelve Jordans fruity nutty healthy crunchy farty bars. That’s two for each breakfast. I’m not sure I can keep up with those. I suppose I could slip a rasher of bacon between two for a bit of an early morning thrill.

Evrything I need to pack is in a cardboard box beside the telly with the motto “Avon Cosmetics London-Paris-New York-Easington Colliery” written on the side. If I ever find out who wrote on the side of the telly…..

The next thing I need to do is pack. And try to find a B&B in Fettercairn I might do that later…. Or I might not. You don’t really care do you?

Pic is a TGO challenge pic from a previous fiasco...


Martin Rye said...

That poor dog will have no walks for weeks. I do hope to see updates Mike and a full report at the end :)

Martin Rye said...

PS I see you are big in the USA now. Philip has a great blog and I am glad he gave you a mention and put you on his blog roll. High praise indeed.

Mike Knipe said...

Yes, I'm very big in the colonies (thats double entendre chaps) Came out of the blue a bit, that one - but I'll be in smug mode for a while, in fact my head's so big, I can't get my pully off.
Ah, the puir wee dug. You're right. he'll be a fat wee dug when I get back, and just a bit manic.
There'll be no updates, though - just a searing silence till the next bank holiday. Saw your vid by the way - ace stuff...

Mike Knipe said...

I've not gone yet, by the way. There's another walk to come, and I still have to have my pre-Challenge disaster/panic. Big traffic jam in Durham Wednesday morning - or flu symptoms or something.

Always look on the bright side....

Mike Knipe said...

...just had a sinking feeling that my last two comments, in reply to yours Martin were deficient. Lets just say that if you hadn't introduced Phillip to me, on the TGO thing, it wouldn't have come up in the first place.
Thats another pint I owe you.
Don't suppose you know any Australians?

Alan Sloman said...

This afternoon I have mostly been in the garden: The sleeping bag has been erected, The tent polished, The food parcel mown and the lawn sent off to Inverness. Now, where are my boots? Aaagh they have been shredded!!!

And now, I am offski to the Axe & Compass. Must remember the right door key. Swapped them locks over as well.

Challenge@ Wossat den?

Mike Knipe said...

Ah well, have a nice time down at the boozah Alan (I know you've already gone haven't you?)
All packed up and ready to go....only I've just quaffed most of my Challenge whisky... bugger.

Anonymous said...

In view of your comment re the two young ladies I thought you may like the following which I must admit is not originally mine but forwarded from young Mr. Quincy.
"Confessions of a hooker

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession.

Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years .

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says 'My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?'

She said 'I don't think you understand, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales . . "

Mike Knipe said...

Arf arf, Grumpy.