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Friday, 1 April 2011

T’reet Rehydration Fluid – On Test

adding some t'reet

I was sent a small plastic bottle of “T’reet” from somewhere deep in West Yorkshire for testing and review. I promised to give it an honest go and to report my findings honestly. No , really, honest… (the “T” isn’t fully pronounced by the way – just t’ glottal stop

rhubarb

Anyway, its a new bio-product based on an oily extract of rhubarb (no, really….) and if you add it to dehydrated food, it reduces the amount of fuel and water required to rehydrate quite dramatically.  Apparently, its based on a a process involving Dissembled Hydro-Oxygen Particulate Technology (DHOPT) which has been developed at the Wakefield Rhubarb Institute.

240px-St_Michaels_Church_East_Ardsley[1]

T’reet Herbal Oils of East Ardsley claim that the “T’reet”ment (see what I did, there) is perfectly safe and has the following advantages.

* Only 1 cl of “T’reet” plus 25cl of cold water is used to rehydrate up to 1kg of dried food.

* “T’reet” has a sterilising effect on wild water, although you may want to filter.

* “T’reet” has virtually no taste

* “T’reet” has some mild laxative effects which may be a positive thing when you’re living off dehydrated food.

* “T’reet” is a completely British (Yorkshire) product manufactured from the pink part of the stalks of the common rhubarb plant.

* “T’reet” is economical and will retail at only £15.60 for 10 cl.

adb in a bag 

So, what of this “T’reet”? I probably might hear you ask interestedly if we were on Skype, which we’re not..

Well, most of what is said above is reasonably accurate. Due to bad weather, a touch of lurgy and a bad knee, I carried out the test in the kitchen at knipetowers. I did open the back door to simulate the outdoors and it was cold and draughty enough for me to have to wear my merino wool buff (or snood, as they call them in the Premier league).

accurate water measurement essential

The meal I made was the “T’reet”’s very own “All day Breakfast”, which retails at £4.99 and weighs just 25 grammes including the packaging.

The results, as you can see from the before and after pictures below, were remarkable, although I did visit the bathroom urgently a couple of times afterwards, which is not good when you have a bad knee. And maybe not such a good idea to sip Black Sheep whilst testing this….

Before…..

before

After…..

after

Just add the “T’reet” to the bag, pour in heated water, seal the bag and wait for 6 minutes, and hey-presto, you can slide the meal out onto a plate. And it tastes almost like the real thing with little after-taste and almost no unpleasant side-effects. The liquid itself is fairly caustic and you have to be careful pouring out the right amount. I noticed that the sleeves of my Paramo jacket had developed some small pin-holes from a minor splash, but I’m assured that this won’t affect the efficiency of the coat. For safety, I used a saucepan which sustained very little damage at all and, in fact, the burnt-on porridge had completely disappeared.

If I have a criticism, I would have to say that the sausages were Cumbrian and I would have preferred Pork and Leek. But that’s just a quibble, really.

is this corrie omnibus edition?

Note that I did have some strange dreams afterwards involving Lady Gaga, a yard brush and a bucket of cold custard. This is quite remarkable as I wasn’t actually asleep at the time, but watching Coronation Street Omnibus on the telly. What’s even more remarkable is that  Corrie Omnibus isn’t shown on Thursdays. I can’t empirically link the consumption of “T’reet” with this episode and most of the hallucinations have stopped including the really scary one when I woke up overtaking a Latvian truck on the A66 yesterday afternoon. Suddenly finding yourself on the Appleby bypass with very little petrol is worrying, and a flat tyre from the spike stick I can tell you. Its probably NOTHING

“T’reet” also do Breakfast-in-a-bun, Pork pie and peas, beans on toast, sausage and mash, strong black coffee and a fag, and a healthy Tomato five bean and basil salad. (this comes pre-rehydrated.) All at £4.99

Sweets, at £3.99 each include Rhubarb and custard, Apple pie and cream with a bit of Wensleydale cheese, Christmas pudding in white sauce, banana fritter in hot syrup and a cup of tea and a kit-kat.

Rhubarb oil, eh? Who would have thought it?

As it says on the bottle “Tha’s reet ta yooiz T’reet”

 

11 comments:

John J said...

Pleez can you get me some Mike, it's just what I need.

Do it rehydrate dried water too?

JJ

Mike Knipe said...

What, with your knees JJ, are you mad?

-maria- said...

:D :D

Thanks - a good reminder that it's April already!

Oldmortality said...

For contractual reasons this is marketed in Scotland under the trade name "Huntygowk"

Alan Sloman said...

This sounds ideal!

A few drops of "T'reet" ,eans no more washing up when camped high on the summit ridge, which obviates the need to carry water, washing up bowls and brushes. However, it sounds like hand protection might be needed but Kevlar Superlight Marigolds are available at backpackinglight.co.uk

Jules said...

Cheered me up no end, did that!

Thanks for the laugh!

4 Winds said...

I have that Lady Ga Ga dream too. Weird......

Steelystan said...

Blimey! The rehydrated knife and fork are amazing. They were only the size of an oxo cube to begin with.

Phreerunner said...

HaHa. Very good, Mike.

The Odyssee said...

I might try it in a wee dram!

AKKW said...

I been round all the local shops to get some T'reet.

You mean to say it were a hoax?